“The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlear (Gloria Steinem)
I don’t know about you but the idea of unlearning is a less familiar one than learning, or relearning. I’ve been learning about the power of unlearning this month over at Joyful Jubilant Learning, in a theme introduced and hosted by Dean Boyer.
This is the challenge that he presented us with:
Let’s not only share what we have learned but also anything we have unlearned! We all have a tendency to complicate our lives through our learning; perhaps August will be a month where we start to simplify our lives by unlearning things. As living and learning go together (Adrian Savage), unlearning and freeing go together, in my opinion. The most accomplished piano student must not only learn properly, but unlearn any limiting habit (posture, hand positioning, etc.) to fully develop into an accomplished musician.
You can see how unlearning might start to open things up. How we can simplify our world, getting rid of things (ideas, beliefs, habits) that are no longer serving us.
How unlearning goes hand in hand with living more freely.
I decided to take up the (un)learning challenge with my first piece as a contributing author with Joyful Jubilant Learning. It’s about unlearning the power of “shoulds” and replacing them with the language of possibility, the language of perhaps. It begins:
“Sometimes I wonder if the word “should” is one of the most powerful barriers to learning, acceptance and growth. Sometimes it can feel like tangleweed, wrapping itself around hopes, dreams and possibilities, stifling the life out of us with requirements and instructions and obligations.
These are powerful constraints, powerful strangleholds, and part, I think, of what we need to unlearn if we’re to flourish and thrive.”
You can check out the rest of the piece here. There’s a wealth of other articles and thought pieces on the unlearning challenge that you might enjoy, including
Things I had to unlearn before I could get let go of my clutter, by Ariane Benefit and
Unlearning Mediocrity by April Grove
On the unlearning theme I just have to flag up some fascinating insights from Robyn McMaster at Brain Based Biz on how our minds work, challenging us to unlearn and relearn the difference between grey and white matter, and to unlearn unhelpful strategies for those of us (like me!) who are prone to over-thinking.
Well (as Robyn might say) that little lot should really have stirred your noodle…
Coming back to Dean’s question, what could you unlearn in August to simplify your life, and life more freely?
Nicely played out, Joanna. To get past the “shoulds” is in part knowing who you are trying to please. Is it yourself or others?
Joanna, I have unlearned and learned something new in golf this week, but the lesson takes me beyond the game!
Hi Robyn
That’s such a good question. Sometimes the grip is so strong, so hard-wired in, it’s hard to see where it’s coming from, and whose agenda we’re following…
On a lighter note, I’m delighted to hear you’ve been unlearning and learning something new in golf. As I’ve learned here golf can serve as a metaphor for life… but for now I’m just hoping it’s helped you improve your game!
Best wishes as always
Joanna
Hello Joanna:
I believe that unlearning is the key to personal improvements. Much of our behaviour is the consequence of conditioning .. we need to unlearn plenty in order to understand ourselves better.
Hi Galba
I certainly found the focus on unlearning very helpful – although it was interesting that some people involved in the project found it quite challenging – as if you were going backwards somehow. But as you say I found it helpful to go backwards and unlearn in order to move forwards more freely.
Joanna