Coaching Wizardry

I mentioned the other day that there had been lots of cross-over between some of the themes and ideas that I’ve been exploring here and the work I’ve been doing over at Confident Writing - not least the relevance of one of the most popular quotes from Coaching Wizardry:

"find out who you are and do it on purpose".

The more I explore the writing work the more I realise there’s a coaching dimension behind it all - overcoming fears and lack of confidence; tapping into our motivation, purpose and intention; and moving out of our comfort zones. 

I’m also learning from the search terms from both sites and how I can apply the lessons from one set of searches to inform the other. 

For example

"slow down, you move too fast"

is something I talked about here several months ago in relation to the changing pace of city life, but people keep on arriving by typing in those terms - and it keeps on making me think about the value of slowing down (when you’re moving too fast) - and how we can apply that approach to help us write with clarity and confidence too. 

Anyway, crossing back over the other way I was focusing last month on writing with authenticity - and how writing can maybe help us towards a more authentic life.  I used the conversation to write an e-book (my first) and I figured it might be of interest to readers here too - not least as it quotes the great Dolly Parton a couple of times!

You can download it here - let me know what you think, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

I don’t know about you but I have mixed feelings about the term ‘personal development’.  I know it’s a significant motivator for many people, and I know many great writers, teachers and coaches who work under the banner of personal development.  But at the same time the words carry a lingering sense of ’shoulds’ and ‘expectations’  - or at least that’s how they resonate in my particular map of the world.

I am more attracted to the idea that human beings are already complete, already perfect.  And that we do not need to develop so much as unfurl, or blossom.  Nick Smith at Life 2.0 had some interesting perspectives on this in the context of psychotherapy.  He compares the work of the therapist to the creative power of an artist like Michelangelo, sculpting not to create something new but rather

    removing the chippings to what is already there and perfectly formed.

He quotes Michelangelo: "the sculptor’s hand can only break the spell to free the figures slumbering in the stone."  I love this thought - it makes me wonder about the figures that are slumbering within us, and what happens when we start to wake up…

Anyway all of those thoughts went through my head when Priscilla Palmer told me about her compilation of top personal development blogs.  It’s a list that’s growing fast - she had the good idea of starting with five, and asking each nominee to identify another five so it’s evolving by the minute - and it looks like an amazing list of resources: learners, teachers, goal-setters, coaches, thinkers…check it out.  You’re sure to find something of value there.

I’m delighted that Coaching Wizardry has been included in such a powerful list - even if personal development isn’t a phrase I’d normally use to describe what I do.  (Maybe I just get over some of my reservations about the word: a label is just a label after all)

But thinking about the blogs that I want to nominate for inclusion in the list - well I think I’d want to go for those writers who help to remove the chippings.  Who write in a way that allows me to see things more clearly.  Things that are already true, things that - somehow - I already know.  Things about myself that are already there - but have been slumbering in the stone.

Without further ado here are the four great ‘chippers’ I’d add to the list:

Rosa Say at Managing with Aloha Coaching
Nick Smith at Life 2.0
Robyn McMaster at Brain Based Biz
Hilda Carroll at Living out Loud
Karen Wallace at The Clearing Space

Thanks Priscilla for your efforts to compile the list - I hope you’ll forgive my meanderings at the beginning about the meaning of personal development

One of the ways we can add meaning to our lives is to make the connections between what we’re doing and the ‘big picture’ stuff that’s really important to us.  (And making changes - now - if we find we’ve lost the plot as to where we’re going.)  That might include checking in with your longer term goals from time to time.  Or lifting your eyes from the immediate path and looking ahead to the bigger panorama.

There’s a lovely reminder of this at Embody Coaching.  They have an amazing ability to use visuals - the range of mountain peaks in this example - to connect with our creative, right brain mind.  And get us wondering, reflecting, on where we’re going and what kind of big picture we’re creating, what kind of story we’re telling.

I’ve been lucky enough this year to make some creative connections between my holiday plans and my long term ‘gotta get goals’.  I’m off again now for a fortnight (fingers crossed) in Skye, to do two weeks of beginner’s Gaelic at the Gaelic college (Sabhal Mor Ostaig).  I know it’ll be fun.  And I’ll also enjoy the knowledge that the learning connects - somehow, in a way I don’t yet understand - with the rest of the journey I’m on.

No idea if I’ll have access (easy or otherwise) to the Internet while I’m away, so forgive me if posting and commenting is sporadic for the next couple of weeks

People often assume that life coaches dole out advice, a resource to turn out when you’re looking for a ’solution’ to your ‘problem’ - and can be surprised to find that the power of coaching comes not from advice but from asking great questions.

There’s an art to doing this of course - you need to have good rapport with your client first, to listen closely to what they say, to use clean language that uses their words and phrases rather than your own, and to trust yourself to find the right question or questions that will provide the key that opens the door…

This approach is based on the presupposition that clients already have the resources and answers inside of them.  Your job as coach is to help them tap into those resources - be it knowledge, skills, ideas, confidence, passion, dreams - and then watch the new avenues and opportunities open up before them.

I found a great example of powerful questions at Liz Strauss’ Successful Blog.  It’s simple but totally to the point:

"What do you do well that other people come to you for help with?"

Her question has generated some really thoughtful reflections and comments - you might enjoy checking them out.  If you do delve into the comments I wonder if  you’ll be as impressed as I was with the way Liz coaches the people who are taking part in the conversation: providing positive feedback, picking out the key words in what they’ve said, offering encouragement and further ideas and questions to chew on.  For me this is a great example of powerful, supportive coaching in action.

Do you have a favourite coaching question that helps you unlock the door?  Either to your own treasure chests of resources or - for you coaches out there - those of your clients?

I’ve just completed the Dyslexia Coaching Skills course at NLP Scotland.  It was, as usual, a fantastic training experience (the dull days of corporate training courses a distant memory now).  The highlight of the course for me was the chance to listen to the stories of some of the clients who are currently working with the Dyslexia Treatment Centre. 

A little boy who proudly showed us his school jotter marked with a big ‘well done’ from his teacher.  The parents who told us about the transformation that had taken place in their child as a result of going through the programme - from someone who wouldn’t go out to play to "a different wee boy".  And then there was the man in his 40s, a successful businessman and entrepreneur who had only recently realised why he had ’switched off’ from education at the age of 10, and had had a miserable, excruciating humiliating experience at school: he was dyslexic.  Their stories were powerful: about what can be done, about the huge potential that lies within people who are ‘labelled’ by the system, about the determination of individuals to fight obstacles and create a good life for themselves and their families. 

I felt inspired and humbled to hear these stories, but also frustrated and angry at how we as a society and our institutions create the circumstances for so much unhappiness and struggle, rather than adapting the way we teach and work and learn so that everyone can fulfil their potential, regardless of their learning style.

Still, it’s great to see how interventions like this dyslexia coaching programme can transform the experience of individuals and their families.  If you’d like to find out more about the potential of dyslexia coaching to help someone in your family do just drop me an e-mail at joanna@coachingwizardry.com