Coaching Wizardry

I’ve just been doing this with a client and thought it would be worth sharing here.  It’s an exercise that helps to shift the way you feel about things you want - or think you want - just by playing around with language patterns.  (For those that are interested it’s the difference between modal operators of necessity and possibility.)

The language of possibility

Think of the thing that you want eg “move to the country” (or however you want to express it)

Then say it in the following ways, and notice your internal experience each time (how does it feel when you say the words)

    I should move to the country…

    I ought to move to the country…

    I’ve got to move to the country…

    I have to move to the country…

    I must move to the country…

Did any one of these make getting it seem most likely?  Did any of the statements generate a different feeling?

Then, do the same exercise with some different expressions as follows:

    I’d like to move to the country…

    I might move to the country…

    I may move to the country…

    I could move to the country…

    I will move to the country…

How was the experience this time?  Did you find one way of saying it felt better?  Did one of them make you feel more motivated or optimistic? 

If so, you might just want to practice saying that one to yourself…

You could then try the same thing with some of the other things you want…more time…more fun…an exciting future to plan for…

It’s a really simple exercise and great for exploring your own motivation.  Do let me know how you get on with it - and where it takes you next…

I don’t know about you, but when I’ve got a problem or something that’s making me feel a bit sad or miserable or frustrated, well when that happens the chances are that I turn it over and over in my mind, saying the same words over and over again until they get fixed, solidified, frozen.  Once that’s happened it can be hard to see beyond the words to a point where the problem’s not bothering you any more – or better still you’ve zapped it for good.

Changing the words and the language can help to unblock the problem.  I stumbled across a really simple trick over at the ‘Thinking Managers’ site.  All you do is write down the words of your problem and type them into one of the online translation services like Babelfish. Translate your problem into a different language – non European is probably best, and I’ve had some good fun with Korean – then cut and paste the new text and turn it back into English. 

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Words, said Kipling, are the most powerful drug used by mankind.

Words can make us feel small, and weak, and lost.  Words can lift us up, make us feel hopeful, optimistic, inspired.

Words can be used to disguise what is going on.  And yet we can also find the words to tell the most powerful truths of all: our own.

Words, labels, language can make us feel that the world is fixed, absolute, unyielding.  But by playing with words and language we can start to soften those edges, create twirls and swoops and circles, whisper a sense of unknown possibility……can’t we?

I don’t know if you ever get stuck with some bits of work, or writing, or things that you want to start changing in your life? I know I do.

I’ve realised that sometimes it’s the language and the words that are getting in the way.

One really simple thing you can do when this happens is play around with the words: explore the definitions, try on a different meaning, use some alternative or neighbouring words. You’ll be amazed how many new possibilities start to open up just by changing the language that you use.

For example, when I was doing the research to develop this blog site I found that some of the language was really putting me off. ‘The website is a portal to the services that you offer’. How could I get excited about that? And then I tried experimenting with what those words might really mean…

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