Coaching Wizardry

Here are some of the most powerful metaphors that we use to explore, to learn about, to make sense of life.

Dancing as the adventure of being alive

“… and the invitation opens up another a new metaphor: of life as a dance. Dancing as the adventure of being alive. Which brings us back to the question: will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?”

From the post: Won’t you join the dance? An invitation

Ease up on your golf swing

“I could see from reading on that the metaphor of golf for life worked on lots of levels: you always learn something new; it can be difficult, challenging, fun and rewarding. But the bit I really loved was that advice to ease up on your golf swing…”

From the post: Golfing as a metaphor for life

The path we are travelling

“But looking too hard for the one, true path can create its own problems. You can find yourself fixed on finding ‘the’ answer rather than noticing and enjoying where you are. The path that is unfolding under your feet. The trail you have left behind.

And it can leave you focused on the path that other people have created, the ’shoulds’ of other people’s expectations, or the trails that others have blazed, rather than the path that is distinctly yours. Focused on external pointers and signs, rather than trusting your instincts and intuition to find your way.”

From the post: looking for the right path

Lessons from the art of juggling

“I know, I know, it doesn’t take Einstein to read and apply the lessons from the art of juggling as a metaphor for life. In fact, I’m constantly amazed by the relevance of each learning point for other areas of life, of work, of learning where I’ve got temporarily stuck.

The trick is deciding you’re not going to stay there. Not stopping after the first juggulation. Moving on when you’re stuck. Resolving to keep throwing the balls.”

From the post: the art of juggling - keep throwing the balls

I got the chance to see the Warhol exhibition the other day. It was good - well laid out, with enough space to enjoy and admire some of his most iconic work.

One of the pictures that I loved the most though was this one that I found tucked away in one of the lower-ground exhibition rooms. It’s called “Happy Butterfly Day”.

What a lovely concept. It got me thinking about how nice it would be to say this to people. What kind of day we’d be celebrating.

I think for me “Happy Butterfly Day” would mean a celebration of:

• everything that was colourful and beautiful in the world

• the amazing diversity of human life

• the wider world that we live in, recognising that our actions, our butterfly wings, can make a difference (for good or ill) in other parts of the world

• people who have the courage to step out of the chrysalis

• the importance of flapping our wings and flying free

That’s what the picture, the words, the idea mean to me. What does it say to you? I’d love to know!

Happy Butterfly Day to you all.

I don’t know if you’ve ever found yourself looking for the ‘right’ path? Wondering if the life that you’re living, the choices that you’re making are taking you in the ‘right’ direction, being true to yourself, living the life that you were ‘meant’ to live?

The search for the path is a recurring theme in poetry and literature, in writings about religion and spirituality, in the world of personal development. It’s something that many people say who come to coaching for the first time - precisely because they they have lost their way.

But looking too hard for the one, true path can create its own problems. You can find yourself fixed on finding ‘the’ answer rather than noticing and enjoying where you are. The path that is unfolding under your feet. The trail you have left behind.

And it can leave you focused on the path that other people have created, the ’shoulds’ of other people’s expectations, or the trails that others have blazed, rather than the path that is distinctly yours. Focused on external pointers and signs, rather than trusting your instincts and intuition to find your way.

Hilda Carroll reminds us today that when we are lost, when we need directions, the answer is to trust our intuition. One of the people she quotes is Alan Alda, who encourages us leave the path of what’s known and allow ourselves to be lost.

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” ~ Alan Alda

You’ll find the same theme being developed in the wonderful ‘Monkifesto‘ that Adam Kayce at Monk At Work has just published. (The Monkifesto encourages us to apply intuition at work, but the questions would work for anyone looking for that path. It’s based on a series of short, simple statements and questions plus stunningly beautiful photography).

He asks us to:

Imagine you’re walking through a forest. You’ve got books and maps to show you where to go…
But what do you do when they fail?

The only thing we can trust is our intuition - our sense of connection, our sense of ourselves. Because sometimes (always?) there is no right path.

Which takes me back to an excerpt from ‘Entirely‘ by Louis MacNeice. Pinned up on my notice board to remind me not to get too hung up on the search for the right path.

“And if the world were black or white entirely
And all the charts were plain
Instead of a mad weir of tigerish waters
A prism of delight and pain
We might be surer where we wished to go
Or again we might be merely
Bored but in brute reality there is no
Road that is right entirely.”

No right road. Just us humans, tiptoeing our way through the mysteries of the forest.

I had a timely reminder the other day of the way that we can get trapped - unwittingly - in our own metaphors.  I was talking to my son about possible career moves in the future, and admitted my concern that I would be taking a step down from where I had been before.  With the wisdom of the young he protested "Where’s the lift?! You need to get out of the elevator!"

His comment made me laugh - and startled me out of the frame that was still shaping my thoughts, even after my unpredictable career moves, development of coaching skills, insights from the world of NLP into the impact of limiting beliefs… yes even after all that one powerful metaphor still had a hold on me, namely that a career can only go one of two ways, up, or down. 

How about a new, and more resourceful frame, that frees us to make career choices based on what we love, what we’re good at, the way we want to live, the contribution we want to make, the patterns we discern about our purpose in life, rather than bumping up and down in a metaphorical elevator created by other people. 

A different narrative that frees us to discover what happens when you step out of the lift and set off on a different
path, taking a spiral staircase maybe, or a flying carpet to adventures new…

I’m no golfer so I’ve never really thought about golfing as a metaphor for life before.  However when I stumbled upon a post at Verve Coaching headed “Ease Up and Don’t Swing So Hard!” I was immediately struck by the metaphor - and keen to read more.

Perhaps it was something in the words that struck me, that feeling of recognition when you sense that a particular phrase has been written just with you in mind…

I could see from reading on that the metaphor of golf for life worked on lots of levels: you always learn something new; it can be difficult, challenging, fun and rewarding.  But the bit I really loved was that advice to ease up on your golf swing:

When I relax, limit the height of my back swing, and allow the club head to fall naturally in a gentle and controlled arc toward the ball, I get better distance and accuracy than I can imagine or understand.

What a lovely metaphor - and great advice whether you’re wanting to improve your golf swing or learn how to glide more effortlessly through life…