“The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlear (Gloria Steinem)

I don’t know about you but the idea of unlearning is a less familiar one than learning, or relearning.  I’ve been learning about the power of unlearning this month over at Joyful Jubilant Learning, in a theme introduced and hosted by Dean Boyer.

This is the challenge that he presented us with:

Let’s not only share what we have learned but also anything we have unlearned! We all have a tendency to complicate our lives through our learning; perhaps August will be a month where we start to simplify our lives by unlearning things. As living and learning go together (Adrian Savage), unlearning and freeing go together, in my opinion. The most accomplished piano student must not only learn properly, but unlearn any limiting habit (posture, hand positioning, etc.) to fully develop into an accomplished musician.

You can see how unlearning might start to open things up.  How we can simplify our world, getting rid of things (ideas, beliefs, habits) that are no longer serving us.
How unlearning goes hand in hand with living more freely.
I decided to take up the (un)learning challenge with my first piece as a contributing author with Joyful Jubilant Learning.  It’s about unlearning the power of “shoulds” and replacing them with the language of possibility, the language of perhaps.  It begins:

“Sometimes I wonder if the word “should” is one of the most powerful barriers to learning, acceptance and growth.  Sometimes it can feel like tangleweed, wrapping itself around hopes, dreams and possibilities, stifling the life out of us with requirements and instructions and obligations.

These are powerful constraints, powerful strangleholds, and part, I think, of what we need to unlearn if we’re to flourish and thrive.”

You can check out the rest of the piece here.  There’s a wealth of other articles and thought pieces on the unlearning challenge that you might enjoy, including

Things I had to unlearn before I could get let go of my clutter, by Ariane Benefit and

Unlearning Mediocrity by April Grove

On the unlearning theme I just have to flag up some fascinating insights from Robyn McMaster at Brain Based Biz on how our minds work, challenging us to unlearn and relearn the difference between grey and white matter, and to unlearn unhelpful strategies for those of us (like me!) who are prone to over-thinking.

Well (as Robyn might say) that little  lot should really have stirred your noodle…

Coming back to Dean’s question, what could you unlearn in August to simplify your life, and life more freely?

Coaching myself is probably the hardest part of the job but again it is questions that help to clear away the clutter and get to the point of what you need to do.  One of the things I’m enjoying about reading other blogs is stumbling across great questions and challenges that slow you down and really get you thinking.  (I don’t know about you but I can often feel them rumbling away in the back of my mind, waiting to turn into something to write something to do).

One of my most recent – and valuable – finds has been the treasure chest of material at Managing with Aloha and Talking Story with Say Leadership Coaching, two blogs written by Rosa Say around her work to bring Hawaiian values to the world of business.  There’s a coaching theme for each month, built around a particular value.  The theme for June is K?lia i ka nu‘u, translated by Rosa as "strive to reach the summit" – to be the best that you can be, to push ahead and reach the highest point.  Her challenge to us is not to take a break in June – but instead to go for the break through.

The article really got me thinking – about things we strive for, about the amazing things that people can and do achieve, but also about times we stop perhaps, before we have reached the summit.  And formulated a question that keeps on running through my head.  A question for you – and one that I need to answer for myself too.

Is June the month to make the break through?

Anyway at the end of this most recent bout of ‘wilfing’ I found myself reading an article on describing your business in two words.  I’m a firm believer in ‘less is more’ when it comes to words but this was the first time I’d come across the idea of boiling it right down to two.  Anita Campbell, the author of the piece over at the Success Blog, argues that this is an exercise that will really make you focus on what matters:

It’s tough to do, but the effort will force you and your team to focus like a laser beam.

I’ve been turning this over in mind for the last couple of days now, trying to work out the two word story for my own business.  I quite liked "liberating stories" (‘cos there’s a word play) but it’s maybe too obscure.  "Creating possibilities" is how I think of my work but again maybe it’s on the vague side.  "Transforming experience" comes pretty close to what happens.

Anyway now I’ve got this puzzle I’m sure to keep on working on it. I’ll let you know as and when I get a ‘eureka’ moment…

Is this a challenge that works for you?  What two words would you use to tell your business story?

I’ve realised that sometimes it’s the language and the words that are getting in the way.

One really simple thing you can do when this happens is play around with the words: explore the definitions, try on a different meaning, use some alternative or neighbouring words. You’ll be amazed how many new possibilities start to open up just by changing the language that you use.

For example, when I was doing the research to develop this blog site I found that some of the language was really putting me off. ‘The website is a portal to the services that you offer’. How could I get excited about that? And then I tried experimenting with what those words might really mean…

Starting with the website – well that’s just a computer connected to the internet that maintains a series of pages on the World Wide Web… isn’t it? Or is it a part of the web, the web that is an interconnected system of things…or people…Or is the web something that we make by weaving things together…

And suddenly I found that I was back in a world that for me is altogether more intriguing – where humans weave words together, create meaning, make connections, tell stories…

Which made me look at the word portal in a totally different light. Because when you think about it a portal is just a doorway, providing a way in… or a way through… or a way out… and in the end portal is just a grand and imposing word for an entrance… and entrances can be entrancing… can’t they?