There’s a lovely reminder of this at Embody Coaching.  They have an amazing ability to use visuals – the range of mountain peaks in this example – to connect with our creative, right brain mind.  And get us wondering, reflecting, on where we’re going and what kind of big picture we’re creating, what kind of story we’re telling.

I’ve been lucky enough this year to make some creative connections between my holiday plans and my long term ‘gotta get goals’.  I’m off again now for a fortnight (fingers crossed) in Skye, to do two weeks of beginner’s Gaelic at the Gaelic college (Sabhal Mor Ostaig).  I know it’ll be fun.  And I’ll also enjoy the knowledge that the learning connects – somehow, in a way I don’t yet understand – with the rest of the journey I’m on.

No idea if I’ll have access (easy or otherwise) to the Internet while I’m away, so forgive me if posting and commenting is sporadic for the next couple of weeks

An example.

The last two pieces that I’ve written (on the paths that we follow) were inspired by material I’d been reading on Hilda Carroll’s site, an amazing series of posts on Life 2.0 (not to mention the thoughtful comments that follow) and Adam Kayce’s ‘Monkifesto’.

After writing it Robyn pointed me towards a serendipitous post that the amazing Liz Strauss had also just penned on choosing our own path, and resisting peer pressure.  I love the way Liz writes.  She always gets right to the heart of the matter.  This time she reminds us to

Choose not for others, but always hold your choice for yourself.

Later this evening I found that Nick had written another great piece that picked up some of the threads of the writing from Liz and myself, and turned it into an amazing new tapestry.  I would really encourage you to go and check out his thoughts on ‘walking our path: know how or no how’ – and if nothing else to remember the question that he throws us.  Simple.  Powerful.  Effective.  Strong.

How does the truth of who we are wish to express itself now?

Talk about a great coaching question. 

I’d love to know what answers, what possibilities this question starts to awaken in you?

Different authors and voices; different backgrounds and experience; people living in different continents who have never and may never meet – weaving words together.

In the words of an African proverb:

“It takes a thousand voices to tell a single story”

Or as Liz would say – together we can change the world.

I started thinking along the usual lines of national heroes who had amazing stories to tell, of courage and justice and the triumph of truth.  Then wondered about people who were great storytellers and raconteurs who would hold our attention rapt at the dinner table.  But after a while I figured it would be amazing to host a dinner party of poets.  People who can weave words into magic, spin a web of hopes and dreams and imagined worlds.  People who have lived amazing lives and seen some of the dark side.  People who can tell it like it us, often with a real sucker punch.

So poets it is, and here’s my dreamy guest list:

Maya Angelou. Writer, activist and storyteller as well as a poet, she has an amazing ability to express the human desire for an authentic life.  Here’s one of my favourite lines on the importance of the individual’s story:  "there is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

Rumi. I have to confess I’ve only read snippets of his poetry so far but it contains lines of astonishing beauty and power. Words written hundreds of years before that still have the power to stop you in your tracks.  "You were born with wings.  Why prefer to crawl through life?"

Spike Milligan.  Change of tack here to make sure our dinner guests keep their feet on the ground.  Best known as a comedian (including comic poetry) but with some stunning dark material too born out of his experience of depression.  Again some great one-liners – this time to make us smile.  "Well we can’t stand around here doing nothing, people will think we’re workmen!"

Shane Koyczan.  A Canadian spoken word performer, sometimes called a rap poet.  I heard Shane a couple of years ago at the Edinburgh Book Festival and it was a stunning experience.  He moved his audience through a spectrum of emotions with the power of his words: anger, laughter, frustration and tears.  No one-liners here, and you need to listen to the poems for best effect.  You can sample his poetry here - click on the ‘play our jukebox’ for a selection of his work.

Raymond Carver.  Well just one of my favourite writers and poets.  I’d love to have had the chance to sit down and have dinner with this guy.  Again he has some lines that stop you still, questions that will continue to run through your head for long enough, who knows?  Maybe even the rest of your life.  Here’s a favourite, from Late Fragment:

"And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?"

So that’s my choice of dinner guests for an evening of poetry and power, of musings and magic.   Who would you want to invite along for supper – and why?

This approach has a number of advantages, not least your ability to move up and down the learning curve.  If you start dropping all the balls again or throwing the balls wildly around the room you just step back and practice the exercise that went before.  It stops you from seeing juggling as an ‘all or nothing’ thing, that you can either do, or not do.  It’s a set of exercises, a process, a rhythm, a dance, it’s something that can be practiced and learned.  Breaking it down in this way stops you from giving up, declaring that you were right all along to say you couldn’t juggle.  There’s always somewhere else to go to learn – back a step, or sideways, experimenting with a different technique, or working out what’s happened to your throw.

It’s also worth tuning into what you’re telling yourself.  The words in the book are all about fun and curiosity and that’s been transmitted into the learning experience – it seems funny, not embarassing or ridiculous when a throw goes wrong.  The focus is on how you can improve it, not how dumb you were to drop the balls.  Then there’s what you tell yourself as you juggle: the instructions are to throw not catch.  I’ve also experimented with different words for ‘throw’ (like ‘arc’, or ‘fly’, or ‘release’) and counting (in different languages!).  It’s all about finding what works for you, and what gets you into the learning state.

The other change in the self talk is the story I’m telling myself about juggling.  It’s no longer a choice of narratives: being a ‘can juggle’ person or a ‘can’t juggle’ person.  I’ve become a person who is learning to juggle.

Anyway, so far so good.  I’m buying their argument that there’s lessons to be learned from the art of juggling for the wider lessons of life – and having just achieved my first three ball ‘juggulation’ there’s no way I’m stopping the learning now…

"Realising potential" is what came to mind (on the back, I guess, of the piece I wrote on potential last week).  Part of the reason I like it is because there’s more than one layer of meaning.  It’s about the core belief of the coach that each client is full of potential, containing a unique and amazing story within them, waiting to be told.  It’s about the work to shift perspective, so that you, the client come to realise your potential (def: to perceive it, to be fully aware of it).  And then it’s about the work that we do together to make it real, to realise that potential (def: give reality or substance to, make real or concrete.)

For now, I like it.  What do you think?  And how are you getting on with your own two word business stories?

A little boy who proudly showed us his school jotter marked with a big ‘well done’ from his teacher.  The parents who told us about the transformation that had taken place in their child as a result of going through the programme – from someone who wouldn’t go out to play to "a different wee boy".  And then there was the man in his 40s, a successful businessman and entrepreneur who had only recently realised why he had ‘switched off’ from education at the age of 10, and had had a miserable, excruciating humiliating experience at school: he was dyslexic.  Their stories were powerful: about what can be done, about the huge potential that lies within people who are ‘labelled’ by the system, about the determination of individuals to fight obstacles and create a good life for themselves and their families. 

I felt inspired and humbled to hear these stories, but also frustrated and angry at how we as a society and our institutions create the circumstances for so much unhappiness and struggle, rather than adapting the way we teach and work and learn so that everyone can fulfil their potential, regardless of their learning style.

Still, it’s great to see how interventions like this dyslexia coaching programme can transform the experience of individuals and their families.  If you’d like to find out more about the potential of dyslexia coaching to help someone in your family do just drop me an e-mail at joanna@coachingwizardry.com

I was only able to take meaningful action on my work life balance when I realised there was no perfect state, no objective balance that I had to achieve or else be judged on.  It was just one of those things that could contribute to a wider objective – looking after me.  (Try putting this at the top of  your ‘to do’ list and see what difference it makes to your day…)

Putting work life balance into the box labelled "looking after me" meant I could work out why it mattered to  to me – not as an end in itself but because it gave me better health, a sense of well-being, a sense of humour, energy, a good night’s sleep, whatever.  The important thing is that it’s what you want, not what someone else says you ‘should’ do.

I was reminded of this by a post from Darren Rowse about keeping grumpiness at bay, including a great visual on what happens to his grumpiness levels when work-life balance gets out of synch…

So for him the objective is not being a grumpy old blogger.  Mine was being a senior manager who always made time for people – but didn’t exhaust myself in the process.

Don’t let the work life balance thing get you down.  No else can judge how ‘good’ your work life balance is.  Try using it as a barometer, a gauge of what’s going on in relation to the bigger picture – at work, at home, inside yourself, when you go to sleep at night, with your children or partner…

Your graph.  Your story.  The only balance that matters is the one that works for you.

It was from the Miscellaneous Adventures of an Aussie Mum.  And there in the midst of her miscellaneous adventures she throws us a big question: Who is narrating your life?

It’s the question we ask when we realise we’ve lost the plot.  The feeling so many of us get when the story comes to a dead end.  What happens to people when they

…wake up when they’re forty and go, “Wow, how did I end up here?” and realise they’ve had an unfulfilled previous twenty or so years because they’ve never actively narrated their destiny. It was easier to “go with the flow”, when really that flow was a rip taking them out to sea.

And when you stop, and look around you, and see how far you’ve come or how far you’ve drifted, maybe… what’s your answer to the question:

Who’s narrating your life? Who’s telling your story?

One of my favourite Zen stories is in response to the age-old question of identity.  And if any of you have ever found yourself wondering ‘but who am I, really?’ (and don’t worry, you’re not alone…) I hope you enjoy this:

A distraught man approached the Zen master.  "Please, Master, I feel lost, desperate.  I don’t know who I am.  Please, show me my true self!"  But the teacher just looked away without responding.  The man began to plead and beg, but still the master gave no reply.  Finally giving up in frustration, the man turned to leave.  At that moment the master called out to him by name.  "Yes!" the man said, as he spun back around.  "There it is!" exclaimed the master.

Any favourite Zen stories or sayings you’d like to share, or would love to see here?

I hesitate to set myself up as an example of success but here are the things I do most days to keep myself on track:

• Look for things I can learn – I read constantly, books, papers, internet, news and am nearly always studying something or other
• Have a pen and paper ready – ideas, words, stories pop up at any moment and I hate to lose them!
• Check in with my values – does doing this reflect my core values, what I want to be doing, how I choose to be living?  This can take you in strange directions but it’s the only way I know to stay true to my own story
• Focus – on the human being that is a client, reader, or potential client, and concentrate on the unique and amazing story that they hold inside them.  This is a great state to be in for one-to-one work, and writing with rapport
• Do some things just because I want to – it’s great to take some time out from the day and do things just because you can.  Also a great antidote to the burden of ‘shoulds’
• Spend time outside – there’s always some inspiration to be found in the natural world, even if it’s just watching the ants hard at work or listening to a blackbird sing in pure delight

I got tagged to add mine by by Blog Angel Claire, and then saw from Hilda at Living Out Loud that the whole thing is being run by Aaron Potts at Today Is That Day.
He’s had a great response – so great he’s now set a deadline – you’ll need to post by 10 May if you want your secrets counted.  (Just remember to trackback to his post so he can pick up your contribution.)

You can tag yourself if you want to join in, meantime I’m tagging Thomas at Achievement in Mind and Margaret Ntifo - Thomas is a brain optimizer and Margaret a wealth and prosperity mentor so we should learn a lot from their secrets!